Bravery, true knowledge and the ability to look into the darkest parts of self; all qualities that define the make up of Meghan, wife, mother of three boys, and recovering addict.
It is not by chance that I meet this woman of strength, and I hope I can fully transpose what Meghan valiantly exposes in two hours of discussion.
And after the last few weeks of running into the topic of drugs and addiction, a discussion that I know must be published in 365.
“Not by chance” I say.
I call it, a stupor of thought, or easier defined, a lethargic paralysis of forward progress, a state of mind that has plagued me for many of my 365 outings, and one that tonight has me sitting in my kitchen, not having a clue as to where to start my search for strangers.
It’s play date day, fun is in the air, my daughter has her friend over and I’m chatting Michelle, the mom of my kids play pall.
Looks like rain is in the air, I really don’t want to go out, plus, there is this nagging voice in the back of my head, and it’s starting to scream, “Ask Michelle to introduce you to one of her friends.”
As I listen to my in-head dialogue, the stupor dissipates, and I can’t ignore the uninvited inspiration I’m feeling. “Hey Michelle, I need help.”
I explain my project and of my mind paralysis.
“I have a bunch of friends, let me make a few calls.” Michelle kicks in.
She rocks, she leaves a few text and voice messages and we wait. A few not tonight’s later, the prospect of a wandering evening is entering my head, and I getting a little bummed again.
An hour passes and the clock is clicking onward, it’s looking like time to hit the road.
But fate falls in my favor when Michelle’s phone rings, Meghan is on the other end, and after a bit of explanation she accepts with one condition, “Can I bring my oldest sons with me?”
Not a problem, the house is already full with the bumps and yelling of kid’s fun, so the more the merrier.
Thirty minutes later arrives Megan and her boys, we do our nervous introductions, and off the youngsters go to play.
Meghan, Michelle and myself withdraw to my office to get to know each other.
It does not take me long to realize how powerful Meghan is, and to grow my understanding of the virtues of Michelle (thought I knew her, but she is more amazing than I have known). Both women have been through tremendous growth in their lives, and the bond between them is tight.
Michelle is Meghan’s recovery sponsor and the love they express to one another is palpable. I’m telling you, I’m welling up as I write this sentence… The loving power of these two giants of self-growth is just that impactful. It draws one to tears.
In speaking with the many strangers I have met, there has been a swaying debate growing as to the ability of a person to control their consumption, and Meghan’s courage in sharing her history may shed some light on this debate.
Meghan holds no punches, “I’m in the process of healing from drug dependency. It’s so hard, but I know what I want.”
What’s that? I ask.
Meghan responds with several muses.
“’I’ve had trust issues, and what is helping me is to let others know this, ‘Learn to love people without expectations, not thinking or expecting that you’re going to get something back.’”
“Do unto others as you would like to be treated.”
“Love your family, because after everyone else is gone, you only have your family.”
“I’m working to love myself more, and for my family to become more spiritual.”
This one chokes us all up, “My kids to accomplish the things they want to accomplish and to be happy. I think deep down that is what every one wants.”
Meghan is open is telling Michelle and I, “I’m still learning who I am.”
As I said earlier, “Bravery, true knowledge and the ability to look into the darkest parts of self; all qualities that define the make up of Meghan.”
But beyond that is an even greater calling, a calling that Meghan is stepping to the plate with monumental heroism, “Meghan is a good mother.”
Her love and desire for her children is evident in the compassion and power of direction she is working so hard to provide.
“My kids have had a tough life, I worry about them. My husband and I have fought hard to keep us all together, and I love them.”
We talk about parenting for a while, and come to a general conclusion. A conclusion, that applies to all us parents, that being, “If we express sincere love in all we do with our kids, from discipline to playtime, we are helping them to feel a sense of security in knowing they are loved.” And that in itself is a base to self-worth and esteem.
Megan does fear that her kid will follow in her footsteps, and we talk of their future and the way they are now.
Let me tell you a tad about my take on Meghan’s kids, they are special, “My wife says at first glance, “Meghan, I love your kids, you can just leave them with us.”
“You can just leave them with us?” My lovely is very loving, but I’ve never heard her say this before.
“Blog readers, forgive the personal note here, and Meghan, I hope you are reading.”
Whatever wisdom you are sharing with you kids, it’s working, stay strong, there good kids.
We talk of global issues, like politics, society and her personal wishes for others fighting the painful grip of addiction.
“I wish people to be nicer to each other.”
“Why we go to war isn’t exactly the same as why we are told we are going to war.”
“I hope some day to be able to trust that the people we elect are people we can trust, that they will do what they say, and really be more loving, caring and empathetic to the real people.”
“There is a lot of deception in the world, people need to be more honest.”
One thing that is starting to roar louder than a Lion in 365; the humbler the person, or the more humbled by life the person, the greater their clarity towards the human race, and a better future. A call that I think is a pretty good warning to any of us that are caught up in the fight to the top, don’t you think?
It is impossible for me to ignore inquiring, “What would you tell others with dependency problems?”
To those who want to help others:
“It’s a sad, sad place when your using, but you can’t really help an addict unless they want to help themselves, all you can do is plant the seed, you can’t force them to look for help, they have to do it for themselves.”
To the addicts:
“I know this from experience, you can be happy, there is a place you can go, you don’t have to be miserable.”
“Every addict has an excuse.”
“You can either dwell in the past, a past which isn’t going to do you any good, or you can choose to make your day better.”
“And God can make your days better.”
“The greatest counselors are ex-users. And their example tells us that we can take the past and turn it into something positive.”
Meghan, Thanks you for coming into our lives, I hope your bravery will make us all better humans.